No, I’m not talking about the Miami Heat (that’s a whole other post). It’s summertime again and, yes Miami gets insanely hot and humid. Take it from a Miamian, sometimes there’s just no way of avoiding the heat, you just have to embrace it. Here are some tips for you to prep for the summer and stay cool during our atomically, fry an egg on your driveways, summer days.
- STAY HYDRATED – If you’re going to be outside, running errands, going to the beach, visiting friends, shopping, whatever, don’t be an amateur and pass out from heat exhaustion, DRINK WATER. In Miami, during the summer, we sweat. Just walking from your front door to your car or from your car to the supermarket, where ever, if you’re outside, you’re going to sweat, it’s easy as that. DRINK WATER.
- AC!!!! – In your car, home, office, everywhere! Make sure you have AC you’re going need it, especially in your car. Trust me, I got into an accident with a Haitian driver in NMB three years ago (I knew they were Haitian because 1 – the accent I heard coming from inside of their car as they were cursing and driving off at a scene of an accident and 2 – the Haitian flag in the rearview mirror, don’t judge me!) my AC in my car stopped working. TWO summers without AC! TWO! LONG MISERABLE SUMMERS without AC in Miami. Driving in a car with no AC in the middle of summer in Miami is like sitting in oven that’s continuously blowing 110 degree air at you, no bueno.
- Avoid Haitian Drivers in NMB – just kidding!!! Sa Passa Ma Pu Le!! I love me, Haitians, but for real some of the more recent transplants are some of the most horrible drivers on the face of the Earth. But then the same goes for most people driving in Miami. People just don’t know how to drive here!!!
- Margaritas, Mojitos, cold beer, and lushish cold fruity concoctions! – Anything made out of ice and alcoholic goodness, will definitely help you get through the long summer days. Sit back, grab a drink and relax. Like I mentioned summer only lasts for three months, and once those months are gone they are gone forever, so enjoy it while it lasts.
- Beaches, Pools, Water park – Luckily for us in Miami, you are never more than a ten minute car ride away from a pool or a beach. Here are a couple of highlights on Beaches and Pools to check out! Oh, there’s even a kids water park. Starting from the north heading south
Beaches! (not Bitches)
- Haulover Beach Park – a great beach and park to go to with the family and kids, very clean, equipped with BBQ pits and across the street you can rent jet ski’s or charter a boat to go deep sea fishing in. BEWARE – exactly north of this beach is a nude beach! Unless you want to strip down stay towards the south end of the park.
- Oleta River State Park – Great for Kayaking or paddle boarding – great for the family and kids, also equipped with BBQ pits and cabins you can rent and spent the weekend in.
- Bal Harbour Beach – Great for senior citizens and ridiculously rich people.
- Miami Beach – Again great for family and friends, there’s a bunch of little hotels you can rent by the water and parking you can find. No, BBQ pits or benches, but plenty of beach to lay out on.
- South Beach – Great for young adults and single people. You can take your kids there too if you want. Sh*t I use to go as a kid every Sunday after church with my mom and dad, however be advised you may run into the occasional topless sun bather, loud beach party goers, and a multitude of tourists.
- Key Biscayne Beaches and Park – As soon as you pay the $1.50 toll fee you find parking all along the right side of the road where you can unload and be steps away from the beach. Bike there, or bring your bike, bring snacks, drinks, a BBQ, radio, family, friends and make a day of it. Plus there are huts that rent paddle boarding and other water activities that you can rent and enjoy. Also, dogs are welcomed here so they’ll have fun here too!
- Crandon Park Beach – Also located on Key Biscayne a little further east after you pay the toll, this beach is great for throwing a family picnic at. They have a bunch of pavilions you can rent for the day and snack bar you can purchase food from. There is an additional fee you have to pay in order to enter the park and the beaches aren’t that great but you have BBQ pits! Have you noticed a trend here, we like to BBQ by the water.
Pools! aka La Picina.
- Venetian Pool – A natural spring water pool created out of coral rock nestled in the middle of Coral Gables. This is one of the greatest pools in Miami to check out. Built during the 1920’s out of what use to be a rock quarry, this majestic pools truly take you back to another era. The pools also feature a waterfalls and grotto. Open only during the summer and for a small fee you can enjoy a great day at the pool. Bring a towel, sunscreen, and snacks. Great for everyone.
- The Biltmore Hotel Pool – Also located in Coral Gables, was ranked as one of the longest pool in the nation before being out ranked by another recently built pool in Miami. However, the Biltmore Pool held the longest merit and deserves a visit. The drinks are expensive but the gardens and pool area completely worth it.
- The Viceroy Hotel Pool – Florida’s longest infinity pool, more the 300 feet long. Take a dip in this luxurious pool, overlooking Biscayne Bay, Fisher Island, the Port of Miami, and South Beach. Great for adults and kids although it’s more of an adult atmosphere. The pool is so large you can even see it from the plane as you approach Miami.
- The Raleigh Hotel Pool – Built specifically for Esther Williams and the many movie roles that she played that were filmed there, this classic 1930’s style pool is situated in the heart of South Beach. Sneak through the lobby and take a peek if you can’t afford a stay at the Hotel.
- The Fontainebleau Hotel Pool – No better place to people watch and spot a celebrity at than here. The Fontainebleau Hotel has one large main pool and two smaller side pools. Back in the 80s they use to have a waterfall and a salt water pool, however, since their renovations, they’ve added a large hot tub, great pool bar, and tons of lounge chairs to sunbathe in. Can’t afford a stay at the hotel, here’s a tip, purchase one of their amazing spa treatments which includes an all-day pool pass. Get a message and spend the day at the pool, without having to pay $400 a night for a room.
- Grapeland Water Park – The only kids water park in Miami. The only water park in Miami period! Back in the early 90’s we had Atlantis Water Park but after Hurricane Andrew, it was blown away and never opened again. None the less this park is located right by Miami International Airport, and a great place to take your kids to.
Have a great summer everyone! Stay cool